For you what breaks me, makes me a prisoner ; yet it re-makes me and frees me!!
Eventually one must learn the truth of unlearning. It is not like digging gold, it is not like finding a hidden treasure: but it is a process of peeling some dead skin out of a nasty wound which you couldn't really understand how to cure.
A subtle understanding of what it takes to be a woman, a person so detached from the entangled mess of reality that she loves to dwell in the dreamland which was constructed for her since the early days of her childhood. It takes a range of complicated series of trials and tribulations for her to understand that life is not really that simple. She has to give up a part of her voice to be that docile being who would be praised for her poise. She has to give up a part of her self in order to dissapate her essence and presence from the eyes of her"presiding" counterparts.
In order to have a being of "the woman", either you have to lose yourself a bit, or you have to add those incomplete virtues which would make you woman-enough. Unfortunately this dreamland where the daughters dwell in is not made of shiny awards and honourful accolades, it is only about a simple guidebook of mostly don'ts which she must be diligently following. A person who can't be controlled does not obviously belong within the borders of such dreamlands, They become borderless lands of cursed freedom. Either you are denoted to be an honourless witch or worse, you get to be crowned as the Vixen De-woman! (Demon to be precise)
What you cannot control, or tame, you surely want to finish it. And mistakenly if you cannot finish it, you fear it and make it an outcast. Certainly would be familiar enough for people to understand who have seen the plight of the Untouchables and the Jews. It is similar to even how witches were given the title of "witches" for being someone who wouldn't appease the consistent thrust of hunger and fame of her male counterparts.
The movie "Bulbul", which is obviously available on Netflix inspired me to think about women kind a little differently. You might be thinking it was a matter of the past which is clearly defined in the storyline of the movie plot: yet it resembles so much with the everyday of every household. To feel a compelled sense of lajja (shame), jealousy and inspired vileness for the female members of the house is a mundane, everyday thing for women. She is controlled, mortified, bend incessantly to become a version of herself where probably she never imagined herself to be in. As long as she is sweet and faithfully fake loving you, she is a queen ( an innocent childlike too) whose whims are to be tended to, and whose any neykamo (or being femininely annoying) is being thought to be cute and goofy. But once you see her desiring something from her end, something completely of her own, you become enraged and brutal upon her, as if she has broken the bylaw of being a living human and you break her mobility- the symbolic act of breaking the leg. Surprisingly enough, breaking her leg and many other incidents of losing her own essence which meant violating her body in private made her the borderless land of cursed freedom.
Burning or violating a body is thought to be making it useless and barren, something which becomes cursed: but what if the act of breaking a body sets that body free. To bring back the fertility of a piece of used land, even the trees are burnt, so does happen with Bulbul in this movie. What others thought of her being broken repaired her into the being which she was meant to become - free.
The character used the darkness of her fears and anguish to fill in the broken voids of habitual mistreatments which women had to suffer from everyday in the hands of those who were supposed to handle her with care throughout his life. A broken promise helped break a cage that could have destroyed the life of a woman who was meant to be free.
Attaching an image of morbid fear around you induces a source of power which makes others fear you. Violence and control doesn't provide healthy means for women or her children to cope with the aftermath of the circumstances, because of which many have to take the shape of her perpetrator. Comfort for them then arises through the "misutilization" of the rage which she nurtured in her violated being for so long.
Being a woman can be vandalizing as well as rebelling both at the same time with decent amounts of consistency- even in the present world.
Thank you.
(These are my personal opinions, please don't think it's for the purpose of promoting hate or agenda)
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